Cruel Irony
It’s amazing, really, how cruel some people can be when it comes to work competition. Earlier this week, I applied for a position in the Service department of my company. Meant working closer to home, training benefits, and a chance (once again) to work with one if the company’s top Service professional. A dream of mine.
For those who know me, being a techie is something that’s in my blood. I get two electronic gifts at a time because I inevitably take one apart to see how it works. This was a chance of a lifetime. Only happens once a year.
Last year ‘Fred’ (see my last post) beat me to the training posting. So, after some soul searching, I went for it again. And again this year he beat me. Not only to the one-on-one training, but for the whole enchillada.
Just about an hour ago, he came up to me with the words “So you failed again huh?”. I so hate that man.
You know, if it wasn’t for the SCA and the knowledge that I am welcome and happy there, I think I would end up being those really sad people with no life or happiness.
Allow me the luxury
Allow me the luxury of feeling useless and give me a chance to vent a bit.
I applied for another position this week — this time in Service — where I am apparently supposed to be a good fit.
Today I got the email that this position was given to someone else (we’ll call him Fred). The very same person who told me I had no right to be upset that someone told I couldn’t do something because ‘they’ didn’t understand how I focus on more than one thing.
I can’t count how many times I’ve been denied the opportunity to do something because Fred came along and was ‘better suited’ or ‘more experienced’ or whatever.
Yeah, Fred is a nice person and I do like them, but seriously … why is it *always* Fred??
Had a dream once. To be taught by someone whom I think is the best in the world at what they do … Fred was asked. Dream no more.
Ok, Universe, I get it. Fred is good, Fred is great, but I’m pretty frikkin’ talented, smart and worthwhile too.
Not going to apply for anything for a long while. My help is obviously not wanted in the world’s current state.
~venting done~
In SCA news, I think I figured out why my Turkish Delight didn’t turn out. It may have been the pan was too deep. Going to try again on pay day.
Turkish Delight = Fail
Decided to revisit my favorite candy … Turkish Delight. I love the stuff, and I love to make it. However, I learned a great big lesson. Don’t make the candy when the weather is humid out. Our home isn’t insulated well. So whatever the weather is outside, it’s the same inside.
So, the Turkish Delight didn’t set. However, in good news, the lemon flavor is amazing.
I can’t seem to find the original recipe I had, which had always turned out nice candy. So, off to research again. The sucky part? Hubby doesn’t like Turkish Delight. So, I have to either find a way of getting him to try it, or just stop making it.
But, I’m really enjoying this trip around the kitchen.
In other news, we’ve decided that I am *not* going to enter the Tir Righ Arts & Sciences Competition with my bread this year. Kamloops isn’t in our trip plan as Hubby won’t drive those roads in October, nor will I drive the truck. I guess this just means, I will have another year to perfect my documentation and actual bread recipies.
Understanding
Well this weekend, while a truckload of amazing fun, was a great learning experience for me. Couple of things I learned?
The act of feeding people (something I am passionate about) is considered a Service.
The act of cooking for said people is considered an Arts & Science, but ONLY if the food is period and documented. If it’s just food for the masses … it’s a Service.
I’m thinking that’s what the Viscountess meant when she told me she thought my passions lay more with Service than with the Arts.
Talked to another person I trust about the whole deal, and learned that people don’t think I actually finish anything. I’m wondering about that because I do finish things … I just don’t actually blog about them. It’s the whole point of if I don’t get any constructive comments, or comments at all about what I do, I’m more likely to NOT continue blogging about it. So, in that vein, I am going to create a special post outlining what I have done — I have actually finished my 50 A&S by 50 Year project. I’ve made ten loaves of bread, with five different recipies. So I will blog about them — and what I have done with them (Food Bank) and post that. But I will have to find my notebook that has the info in it.
If I am going to go to an event and take photos like I did this weekend, I really NEED to get either Turkish garb done up for me, or make up some 14th Century men’s garb. I’m very tired of tripping over my dress, or standing on the underdress while trying to stand up from taking some interesting shots.
The art show has one more week left in it, and I am finding myself looking forward to taking them down and creating new ones. But this is going to take a back burner as I finally have someone who is willing to teach me what I want to learn in the SCA.
Looking forward to the newest journey and am REALLY thankful for the opportunity to access over forty years of research.
SCA Thoughts and decisions
For the record … typing with a drooling, purring white cat on your keyboard is hard. LOL Q-Tip is helping me with this post.
At Lions Gate Sergentry the other weekend, I finally got the courage up to ask Viscountess Safiye if I could be her student. I’m not interested nor am I ready for the “A” word. She smiled at me and asked if we could get together and talk more at Investiture. Cool.
A few days later, she asked me for my phone number. The Saturday of my art show opening, she called me and the converstation we had was …. enlightening. One of the first things she asked me is “Aren’t you a protege?” Um … doesn’t that mean a Pelican has taken an interest in me, and taken me under their, erm, wing? Yeah, no. I told her no, I have no Peer interested in what I do.
The conversation went on, and while I won’t replay it here, suffice it to say, she said no.
At first I was upset. Then confused. It took me three years to get the courage up to even ASK a Laurel to teach me. I was told it was obvious my passions lie in Service. Yeah, but I still have a deep love for the Arts as well. She told me that if I had any questions I was more than welcome to ask her and she would do what she could to help.
So for the past week, I have been seriously thinking about what she said. I asked a few people if there was a project that was for Service much like an A&S Project. Autocratting was suggested. Been there, done that … wasn’t even acknowledged as being someone who did a good job. Even still, I wouldn’t mind trying to autocrat again. In fact, I have an idea for a new event that will hopefully come to fruition.
Anyway, I am thinking about restarting SCALost. I figure, unfortunately, things still go missing around the Knowne World, and if there is one place they can be listed (hopefully with photos), it may be easier to have it all in one place.
But I really don’t know. Someone even told me they don’t know how I focus because I do so many things. Do I really have to choose just one thing to do? How can that be fair???
*headdesk* I just don’t know what to do.
Raising my head
Deciding to raise my head as I have been working really hard on my Show this weekend. I’m exhausted, feeling stressed and seemingly getting ill.
Meh … I just need sleep.
Preps are going well, but at this point, I wish I was going to Warren War instead. LOL
Last weekend, I went to Lions Gate SGYG and did NOTHITNG. It was wonderful. Just sat and visited with Viscountess Safiye, and finally FINALLY asked her if I could be her student. Took me only three years to do it LOL Hopefully we can sit and talk soon about what we both want. I hope it becomes a reality, as I really need someone to help guide my hand. Rick asked why I asked for “student” rather than “apprentice”, and I told him I am not mentally ready for even the THOUGHT of apprenticeship, and I feel if I am worthy a Laurel will ask me.
I’m finally finding my place in the SCA and it’s a great feeling. Last weekend was the total cincher for me. My dream has been written down, and I am finding people who are willing to help teach me. Now all I need is someone who will wave a magic wand to make it happen. Oh wait! I have one! ME!!!
On facebook, I was told I have too many things on the go, and this person didn’t understand how I focus on one thing. Photography, archery, cooking, weaving, spinning, etc … And I think my journal is another good forum for me to explain why I take on so many things.
Simply put, I get bored easily. Shiney things distract me, and I want to learn everything. However, photography is currently funding my SCA. I try my hand at everything in hopes that I find something that will hold my interest/passion. Normally that’s archery, but since I fractured my hand, I realize that I can successfully do a few things at once.
One thing I am looking for in a teacher, as well, is to show me how to pull the information from my research books and into a good documentation format. I was never any good at it in school, so maybe in my “fun school” I can learn to do it better.
But, I have to get going to and start working on my Show again. Hope you are all well!
Thoughts and Ideas
So here I am, messing about on my iPhone when a thought comes to mind. What do I want to do in the SCA? Grabbing some paper, I write down the following words:
Cooking
Archery
Service
Largess
Hrm. Now what to do about it.
Cooking – those who know me know I love to cook. Especially medieval recipes. So, thinking about this past weekend when, when I mentioned to a select few, about my dream of having a little “Inn” at events where people would come to me for meals, two people immediately said they’d be there. Hm. I just to figure out if I need a certificate to run said little inn, and if I do, where one gets this little certificate. What about an A&S project? I’m sure if I entered food into a competition there would be a few interested people.
Archery – once the hand heals, I need to rearrange my schedule so I can get to the range on a more regular basis. Need to work my knowledge for my Junior TAM card. I want to be a Senior TAM someday. Need to find someone to chat with regarding coaching and how much I should pay for it.
Service – this one is hard. What exactly constitutes Service? Is it just holding an office? Helping at gate? Or does it go deeper than that? I do want to Serve. I actually WANT an office. I want to help in some respect, even if it means just doing background web work.
Largess – I have to have some sort of skill set in which I can contribute. Something to look into for sure. What do the Coronets and Crown accept as largess? May be wise to find out that answer before I go any further with this one.
Lots to think about and work through.
Some lessons learned
Had an amazing time at Lionsdale Championships yesterday … even though I am still not able to do any archery. That was sad for me, helped John run his speed round, and while I enjoyed the time helping on the range, I realized I have forgotten a lot about running the range. So, back to running myself through the other part of archery theory.
Though I did feel a little frozen out by a number of people I consider friends. It felt like they closed ranks and didn’t want anyone outside of their group to be near.
Sat and had a wonderful geek out with Mistress Rowenna about cooking, and am thrilled to say we exchanged contact info and I now have a standing invitation to pick her brains about cooking and costuming! FINALLY someone who has the knowledge is willing to share with me in the open! Most people I talk to do it in secret and actually ask that I don’t say anything about it.
Even had a great talk with Dame Elena about website/University of Tir Righ geekiness, as well as life in general. Thrilled to see she crochets as well!
Had a few hiccups in my nefarious plan to be more “out there” though. A couple of people I spent time with at Tir Righ/Avacal War apparently didn’t even notice I was there, even though they talked to me! So, I don’t know how I can change that. I am so used to making sure I am at these things, and helping get things done, but not being noticed. A talk with someone I respect showed me I should be more visible and actually try to promote myself a little more. I’m just not sure how to going about doing that.
So back to the drawing board I realize. I’m getting VERY tired of not being noticed/seen by people who actually know me from a stranger on the street. Sometimes, I just want to throw in the towel and say fuck it. Who cares? Why do this? I’m sure I can find another hobby group that will allow me to research and relive the middle ages, and have great camping events. Maybe I should just give up, ya know?
Heh … maybe next event I go to, I should just wander around and help where I can, and not try to “hang on” to a household and see if I am even “seen” at the event. I would LOVE to be one of those people who can go onsite and have people actually NOTICE I am there.
Hopefully once Rick gets out of bed today (poor bugger’s back was so bad he couldn’t get to sleep until 5:30) we can look at the finances and I can see about making up some Hippocras or Athell Brose. Have the itch to brew again, though I am thinking of leaving the Guild and just doing it on my own.
And it begins
I’m starting to sew a lot more now. And this is a good thing. I’m still working on the stitching, as I now have the proper evenweave to do it. Even have enough so that once the tasseled bag is done, I can actually make the pillow for my chair.
One of the things I am working on (and I know I need to focus and get my butt in gear and do my 14th Century stuff) is a Flemish dress. It’s turned into a full A&S project. I have been looking at Flemish as a “break” from 14th Century English for a number of years now. But since we have a Flemish Princess about to step up, the wont is stronger now.
It will most likely be a “one dress” deal. Just something to have fun with, and play in.
Either way, hubby is being very supportive. So much so he’s willing to go and brave the fabric stores for me and actually find the right stuff I want. Thankfully, he sews as well, so when I mention the linen weight, he knows what I am talking about.
Today was a day of me working in Langara. No calls have come in save for the one this morning. Have been able to do a lot of internet research for the Flemish stuff. Now, I am pretty much ready to make the gown.
But, when I get home, I will begin my tasseled bag. Kind of excited about it, as I need a little bag to hold coin/paper money and my SCA membership card. (damn … just realized I have to renew my membership)
Part of me wants to totally skip the bag and tackle the pillow. But because this is a style of stitching I’ve not done before, and the pillow is a very important project to me.
Am really looking forward to the Lionsdale Champion’s Tourney. Am planning on bringing my new chair, my stitching and just visit. Hopefully there will be some heraldry stuff for me to learn. Maybe soon, I will be able to embark on a new vein of service for my local group.
Rumour has it, Lionsdale and Eisenmarche will be joining together to form a new barony. I really don’t know what to feel about it. I don’t like Eisenmarche, though I do like some of the people. I love the people in Lionsdale.
Wow … a call just came in. WHOOT! Time to actually work!
Tasseled Bag
OK, here we go. I have everything all prepared, with the “Fray Check” on the edges of the fabric. Going to learn some proper stitches by working on The Tasseled Bag found at www.wymarc.com/asoot. I don’t think I am going to work on the documentation for this one, as it’s not done with period thing. Just want to learn. I will probably document the cushion I want to stitch for my chair.
Here are the photos of the start of the project:
Edit: Ok. The fabric I have isn’t going to work. Darn it. So back to the drawing board, and waiting until I have some spare money to get some 24 count evenweave.